he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
