just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize