I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
