Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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