I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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