remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
