Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
