you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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