it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
