Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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