haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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