no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
