We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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