if you like me you must not know who I am
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
