can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
