how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
