Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
