she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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