Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
