Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
