we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
