I wish you could order shots online.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
