They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
