i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
