thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm at about main and main street
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
