i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize