Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
