...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
