guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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