Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize