im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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