I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
