But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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