All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
no. you can't hotbox the world.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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