They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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