Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
