u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
