Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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