Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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