I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
