Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
