thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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