guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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