I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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