Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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