there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
