Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
