why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
