he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
