I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
