I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
