if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
