Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
