The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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