The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
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