I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
