im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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