Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize