Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
