After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
