Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
