Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
