This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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