My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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