i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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